The concept of marriage has undergone a significant transformation in recent years, particularly among today’s youth. Once viewed as a societal duty or rite of passage, marriage is now increasingly being questioned, with many wondering whether it still holds relevance in the modern world. This shift can be attributed to broader societal changes, particularly the lack of experiential learning in our education system and a growing disconnect between external success and internal fulfillment.
The Evolution of Marriage: From Obligation to Choice
Historically, marriage was often seen as a duty—an obligation tied to family expectations, social status, or financial stability. People married not only to build a family but also to fulfill a role within their community. In this context, marriage was less about personal fulfillment and more about adhering to societal norms. However, as the world has evolved, so too has the way we perceive marriage.
Today's generation is less inclined to marry out of obligation and more focused on finding meaning, emotional connection, and fulfillment in relationships. The question is no longer “When should I get married?” but “Why should I marry at all?” This shift reflects a deeper search for purpose and alignment between one’s personal values and the idea of partnership.
The Role of Education in Shaping Relationships
One of the core reasons for this shift is the way our education system is designed. Across the world, educational institutions focus primarily on intellectual development—teaching students how to succeed in their careers, manage finances, and navigate external achievements. But there’s a significant gap in addressing the emotional and relational aspects of life, particularly the complexities of human relationships like marriage.
Without this emotional foundation, many people enter into adulthood prepared for professional success but unequipped for the emotional demands of a lifelong partnership. They may achieve career milestones, yet struggle with deeper fulfillment, especially in marriage. This disconnect between external success and internal harmony raises questions about the purpose and value of marriage in today’s world.
Acquired Personalities vs. True Selves: The Marriage Disconnect
From a young age, we’re taught to think logically and make decisions based on societal expectations, often developing what can be called “acquired personalities.” These are versions of ourselves shaped by external pressures—career ambitions, social success, and the need for validation. While these personalities serve us well in certain areas, they often fail us in intimate relationships.
Marriage requires more than intellectual compatibility; it calls for emotional understanding, vulnerability, and a deep connection to one’s true self. However, when individuals make life-altering decisions like choosing a life partner based on their acquired personalities rather than their authentic selves, they risk entering relationships that don’t truly satisfy their emotional needs. The result? Growing dissatisfaction and an increasing number of people questioning whether marriage is even necessary.
To redefine the purpose of marriage, there needs to be a shift from seeing it as a duty to embracing it as a desire—a conscious choice made with self-awareness, emotional readiness, and an understanding of one's true self. This transformation begins with self-discovery, a journey that helps individuals explore their real personality, emotional needs, and relationship expectations.
Coaching plays a pivotal role in this process. Through self-discovery and transformational coaching, individuals can align their emotional desires with their life goals, making more informed decisions about relationships. The Universal Coaching Federation (UCF) is helping people embark on this journey, guiding them to discover who they truly are before committing to marriage. By understanding themselves on a deeper level, individuals are better equipped to find a partner with whom they can share a meaningful and fulfilling life.
The UCF Approach: Transforming Marriage Through Self-Discovery
At UCF, we believe that marriage is not just about finding someone to complete you but about becoming a more complete person yourself. Our coaching methodology focuses on transforming expectations, creating emotional awareness, and helping individuals develop a deep sense of intimacy with themselves before they seek it in others.
The journey toward a fulfilling marriage starts with asking the right questions—not just about your partner, but about yourself. UCF’s approach is centered around helping individuals understand their own emotional needs, transform their expectations, and build a future that aligns with their true desires. By fostering emotional connection, self-awareness, and purpose-driven decisions, we aim to redefine marriage as a partnership based on love, intimacy, and shared growth, rather than a societal obligation.
Arunima, had achieved significant career success but was increasingly questioning whether marriage was right for her. She had been raised with the expectation that marriage was an essential milestone in life. However, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing in her relationships—an emotional connection that went beyond shared interests and life goals.
She joined our coaching program “Why to marry & Whom to marry?" and she discovered that much of her approach to relationships had been shaped by societal expectations and her career-oriented mindset. By embarking on a journey of self-discovery, she began to understand her emotional needs and desires on a deeper level. This new awareness transformed her view of marriage from a “duty” and “desire,” to a “Purpose” to not only experience the emotional and physical intimacy but to transcend to the path of her intellectual and spiritual journey being with someone as a true life partner and companion. And she ultimately found a partner who shared her emotional values, leading to a deeply fulfilling relationship.
In today’s world, the value of marriage is no longer rooted in societal obligation but in emotional connection, personal growth, and shared purpose. As more individuals embark on a journey of self-discovery, the question of “Why marry?” becomes less about fulfilling an expectation and more about experiencing a partnership that enriches both lives.
Through coaching and emotional awareness, marriage can evolve from a duty to desire—a conscious choice made with clarity, purpose, and love.
About the Author:
Dr. Dhirendra Gautam, is a globally renowned leadership and life coach with over 27 years of experience in empowering individuals and fostering transformation worldwide.
As the founder of the Universal Coaching Federation (UCF), Dr.D has pioneered a research-based transformational coaching methodology, including the innovative LADDER framework. His approach focuses on helping individuals dismantle their acquired personalities to discover their true selves, enhancing decision-making and driving personal growth.
Dr.D’s expertise spans life, career, business, leadership, and relationship coaching, offering holistic support to those seeking meaningful change. His visionary work continues to inspire and transform lives globally.
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